The Pecking Order
And the Circle of Friends
I recently mentioned the pecking order in a conversation with my son, and stopped to think about what I’d said. He is ten years old, he already understands that a hierarchy exists, the need for a certain amount of order. The term is fairly self explanatory. But why have a ‘pecking order’? Where does this come from?
The phrase was first used by a Norwegian zoologist in the early 20th century to describe the behaviour of chickens. In a barn full of hungry birds, the chickens literally peck each other to assume dominance over the others in a ‘survival of the fittest’ situation.
I notice it with my two cats, Sid and Nancy, who are brother and sister. Whenever I feed them, Sid always gets the food first. If Nancy is already in the kitchen and then Sid arrives, she gets out of his way. There is no aggression, she just defers to him every time.
For my son, in his last year of primary school, the pecking order plays out as staff and pupils. For my daughter, in her second year of secondary school, the pecking order exists amongst her peers, more fluid than the teacher - student situation. So this hierarchy can be present in many situations. Dictionary.com describes the pecking order like this: ‘
A hierarchy within a social group or community, in which those members at the top assume positions of leadership, authority, and power.’
How we establish these levels is based on many attributing factors. Size and age being the main ones, but a mental view of oneself can also contribute. If you believe you are the biggest and best and most important you will peck as many other chickens as you can, if you believe you don’t really have much to offer and are generally undeserving, you will allow yourself to be pecked and probably be hungry.
As a child I ‘knew’ my place at the bottom of the pecking order in my family. This is mainly because I am the youngest and the smallest. But other things seemed to reinforce it, such as the existence of hand me downs, perceived academic ability and left handedness. This can translate to every family, in some cases the older siblings feeling left till last as they were expected to let the youngest go first or feeling the younger children were more important than them due to the amount of parental attention they received. In our society it has a lot to do with mindset and self perception. In the chicken society, I’m not so sure but I’d be interested to know!
In schools, academic ability might be a great factor in measuring success, but it doesn’t rank you highly on the pecking order. Things like toughness, fashion, personal freedom and acts of rebellion might get you to the top in that situation. From what I can see and what I remember, friend circles are not very circular.
Thinking about hierarchy in chickens reminded me of a product we used to sell at the Fair Trade shop I managed before I had my children. It was a terracotta candleholder called ‘the circle of friends’ which five or six figures all linked together around the central candle. This seems like a much nicer way to exist.
I can’t help but bring to mind the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail ‘I thought we were an autonomous collective!’ (google it if you haven’t seen it). Joking aside, the non stop drama that surrounds teenagers and tweens is immense. It always has been but smartphones amplify it. I find myself saying, ‘Wouldn’t it be easier if you could all get along?’ ‘Why can’t you all just be nice to each other?’ It seems being nice doesn’t get you up the pecking order.
Situations exist where there is no hierarchy, autonomous collectives are there, but maybe we are all just hardwired for comparison and that stems from the deep rooted need for survival. With a bit of awareness and self enquiry though, I believe we can all at least recognise where we are in our personal pecking order and perhaps step back from it a little and invite everyone involved to share some time around a metaphorical candle.
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In the studio, while I ponder ideas about friend circles and chickens, I’ve been experimenting with wet acrylics on watercolour paper. I’m working on some semi abstract sea and sky scenes, I’m not sure they are quite finished yet but I enjoyed creating them. This is the kind of activity that makes space for the best thinking, absorbing and engaging with no expectation of outcome.
You can see a selection of my artwork and commission a positivity painting at my new website sophiehannahwalker.com
Read on or subscribe for an exercise in assessing where you are in the pecking order and cultivating a circle of friends…